Legal Fingers - No Time For Tenderness (2012)

With a name that in itself is an innuendo & a interesting album cover, as well as some dirty sounding song titles No Time For Tenderness immediately asks you for a listen. But not "nice" asking, like say a Folk album, Legal Fingers pinches your butt (if you're a girl) & says "when & were ???". Pretty much all the songs are about Sex, with slight forays into Drugs & Rock 'n' Roll, but who ever said lyrical focus was a bad thing. Titles like Downtown Prowler, Fuck City & Meat Candy indicate that Legal Fingers aren't taking themselves too seriously & just want to have fun, all the time. If I were to call them a Sleaze Rock band (which I think they are), it would complete the image of another Motley Crue wanna be band, however Legal Fingers are far more unique than that. Whilst Glam/Sleaze Revival bands like Hardcore Superstar & Backyard Babies have their own place & are good, their kin are a-dime-a-dozen, Legal Fingers aren't. Rooted more in what they call "Good Old Fashioned Rock 'n' Roll" influenced by (in their words) "Strippers and booze". A timeless drunken Saturday night party committed to tape, with more tongue in cheek posturing than most bands are brave enough to exhibit. (I Just Wanna Get All Right) Tonite!, which is ULTRA catchy, is an excellent example of their mostly unique, alcohol drenched sound. An underground band, so support them if you can, they are living the dream, so help it stay afloat.

Best Tracks: (I Just Wanna Get All Right) Tonite!; Top Off, Rocks Off, Hop Off; Meat Candy

Bandcamp (help them out, they deserve to not work day jobs with monstrous hangovers)
P.S. their Facebook, is great for a laugh too

Celtic Frost - Monotheist (2006)

The final effort of Swiss Metal titans, the ever evolving Celtic Frost, Monotheist is heavy, heavier than a mammoth, possibly the most heavy album ever. Pummeling & frankly traumatizing, Monotheist barely lets up, & when it does, the calmer & more beautiful sections only serve to "soften" you up for the ensuing death. Lyrically it is stark, blasphemous & very, very negative, but as a piece of art they fit in & even enhance the masterpiece. Musically it is an ever changing deathscape. Opening with Progeny, the album starts with pace, the following 2 songs are slower & very heavy. Drowning in Ashes is a more melodic & beautiful break followed by three more slabs of insanely destructive, hellish Metal, Incantation Against a second melodic break. After the break a further two which are heavy enough  to crush whole planets... & Then Triptych: I. Totengott, which sounds like the voice of the devil, by far the most traumatizing passage of music ever, it can & will disturb you. The last two tracks are one heavy beast & a closer of lighter melodic orchestration, just to calm your mind for the exit of your own sonic hell. A thrillingly hellish ride, which is both Soul challenging & rewardingly enlightening. Listen to it & allow the death rattle of true titans to caress your mind with its blackened claws. Magnus Oppus ??? Dominus Opus I say.

Best Tracks: A Dying God Coming Into Human Flesh, Os Abysmi Vel Daath, Ain Elohim & Triptych: I. Totengott (ofcourse a listen-through adds perspective to the master work)

Causa Sui - Summer Sessions, Vol. 3 (2009)

Many words are used to describe music, ranging from the obvious descriptions, fast, loud, slow, soft ... etc, then there are the more abstract adjectives sublime, moving, inspirational, depressive ... etc. Luxurious is not one of those readily used terms, but Causa Sui, & this album in particular is most definitely luxurious. Strangely, in a Metal Magazine, a reviewer wrote "...music for people who fall asleep in the bath..." & this description actually fits nicely. The long songs drip with beautifully clean guitar tones, restrained drums, robust bass & occasional saxophone jaunts. Devoid of vocals, the album communicates with you at a far more subtle level. Not quite 60's nostalgia, something far less frantic, Causa Sui rarely turn their distortion up, but when they do, the sounds are beautiful & mesmerizing. The entire album runs like a journey, even the titles inspire travel; Red Valley, Lonesome Traveler & Venice by the Sea; & like a journey there are quiet times of peace & contemplation, busier times when you are enjoying something new & then frenetic times when you are swamped by the unknown, but in the end you always look back with fond memories. This album is like that, in 33 minutes. Another that demands a listen through, not picking & choosing.

Best Tracks: Red Valley (but really, listen to it through, its better that way)

Descendents - Milo Goes To College (1982)

22 minutes is all the time needed to fall in love with the Descendents. Long before the Oscar nominated film of that name, these guys & this album became legend. In a time when most of California was pissed off & letting America know about it, the Descendents were ... also pissed off. They did however have great senses of humor & strong senses of melody too. Where Black Flag &  Bad Brains were abrasive & aggressive, the Descendents were faster & funner. Silly lyrics abound in songs like the godlike I Wanna Be A Bear & turn more serious on songs like Hope & Marriage. Ever poignant & accessible the songs off Milo Goes to College are a master class in Punk Rock. The songs are short (never longer than 2:15) & so 15 tracks are done in 22 minutes. However, all that means is that you can listen to the album twice in the same time as a normal album. One of the original Hardcore scene's best & most under-rated. Listen to it now.

Best Tracks: I Wanna Be A Bear, Parents, Suburban Home, Kabuki Girl & Hope

Sleep - Sleep's Holy Mountain (1993)

To some the album up in one word is impossible, but a tiny glimpse into it's power can offered up with the word, Monolithic !!! A crushing crawl, the album let's up from the fuzz & fire for exactly 48 seconds, with the tongue-in-cheek interlude Some Grass. The rest of Holy Mountain is pure mind pulverizing hypnosis. Drenched marijuana the album is no hurry & plods along at it's own leisurely pace with such classic Stoned cuts as Evil Gypsy/Solomon's Theme & Aquarian. Some variety is offered up in the Harder, Faster (relatively) & Sludgier jams like The Druid & Inside the Side. Album opener Dragonaut, though, is far & away the best on the album, possibly of Sleep's career best & all-round a Stoner & Doom Metal classic. Never a band to shy away from their love of God's Green Grass, Sleep were always willing to accept the term Stoner & likewise it can be said that this monstrous turbulnent green machine is even better with some Stoney Stink permeating the air. Sadly Sleep don't have any others like their journey to the Mountain. The previous album just isn't the same & the follow-up Dopesmoker is a challenging listen, good, but challenging. No strains are truly as potent as Sleep's Holy Mountain.

Best Tracks: Dragonaut, The Druid,  Holy Mountain & Inside the Sun

Darkest Era - The Last Caress of Light (2011)

Although the release of the album was very low key (especially that it is out on Metal Blade, only one of the top 5 metal labels on Earth) this album is full of fire. From the first strums of epic opener The Morrigan, Ireland's Darkest Era conjure gray & sodden landscapes filled with druids & Celtic warriors & other epics goings-on. At this point you may go "cheesy Folksy Medieval Metal crap", but no !!! Anything but. No keyboards. No samples. No giddy violins. Just strong melodic guitars, hardy rhythmic underpinnings & one epic voice. The bands secret is Krum, their singer. Although singer doesn't do him justice, Wailing Wind-Caller is a more appropriate. All songs, bar non have hearty choruses, far from poppy but irresistible to sing-along too. Lyrically the album follows suit to it's epic sound and the subject matter is what most Old-time Singing bands should be writing. The battle hymns of The Morrigan, the celestial sorcery & mournful introspect of Beneath The Frozen Skies & the dark druidry of Heathen Burial are shining examples of Ballad-like story-telling in the Metal context. The album nears a conclusion with an actual Irish folk song Poem To The Gael & then finally closes with the eleven minute saga of The Last Caress Of Light Before The Dark. Crashing like the waves on the black rocks of Ireland's shores, the album is a must-hear

Best Tracks: The Morrigan, Beneath The Frozen Skies & The Last Caress Of Light Before The Dark

CAKE - Fashion Nugget (1996)

A band that not enough people know about, CAKE have soldiered on producing album for their dedicated fans for more than 2 decades now. Possibly their best was their 1996 sophomore album, Fashion Nugget. The CAKE sound, consisting of catchy riffs, use of a trumpet as part of the band rather than a guest & a thing called a vibraslap, is a large part of why the album is such a good listen. However the shining star of the album (& all of CAKE's music, actually) is front man John McRea, his strange & slightly naive, but clear, narrative lyrics & dry spoken/sung delivery are instantly recognizable. The whole album though isn't all beautifully idiosyncratic Alt. Rock. Stickshifts And Safetybelts & She'll Come Back To Me lean over far more to Alt. Country, Friend Is A Four Letter Word is a demur ballad that stays with you long after the album, & lastly the profanity-laden Nugget has a very Alt. Hip Hop feel to it. The other tracks are all talk/sing-alongs with lovely (yes lovely) lyrics & memorable melodies that are perfect for casual listening on relaxed afternoons, & not to leave out the essential "Okay" & "Alright" & "Oh no" chants that linger in the background of the whole album. An excellent listen for any fan of fun music, poet music or someone in the mood for something truly unique.

Best Tracks: Frank Sinatra, The Distance, Friend is a Four Letter Word, Open Book & Nugget